I have two daughters not yet in school. I was looking forward to these dances very much. It's sad that people have no awareness of community and put themselves first in any situation possible. We are seeing the effects of a generation that always received a trophy and didn't learn to lose with grace and diginity.

Insert Manufactured Outrage Here:

After losing 150k to the ACLU in an ill advised and poorly conceived legal challenge to a request to remove a blatant article of Christian iconography at Cranston West HS, one could surmise that the Cranston School Committee has little appetite to pick another poorly conceived and ill advised legal skirmish with the ACLU over Father-Daughter dances.

I truly do empathize with my fellow Cranston residents who pine for the days of yester-year and the simplicity of tradition colored with the rose tint of memory; but society has moved past you. It's time to reconcile yourselves to the fact that the definition of family has changed and expanded to reflect the world we live in, not the world many of you remember.

In plain English; Father-Daughter or Mother-Son events can often be seen as exclusionary to those whose family units do not comport to such defined terms.

It would be another journey down a dark legal rabbit hole; an appeasement at best for a vocal and often obnoxious group of residents who refuse to accept that the world at large is not the same world in which they grew up.

I would prefer the School Committee find ways to return music, art, science, technology and sports programs to students who are desperately lacking exposure to real world skills and enrichment activities which are necessary to prepare them to compete, than wasting more money on further legal boondoggles.

Of all the news today this was shocking to me! My girls are grown now and have children themselves. However they still to this day talk fondly about their father-daughter dances. It was a great event to have that special time together and a few times their grand father would also join <2 daughters 1 dad> to buy that special dress and a special flower from Dad...I consider myself very liberal however I find it amazing people can bring gay "partners" to proms etc<I am not against it> but can not bring a parent to that special father/daughter or mother/son event. When will this madness end? As much as I like the ACLU this is very wrong!

http://conta.cc/S0oAcc

Although I find the Father/Daughter dances a bit ridiculous I think it it absolutely idiotic that these events are no longer happening because the ACLU once again has made an issue of something so minor. These dances are in no way exclusionary. A little girl can go with a relative, go along with a friend and her dad or ask a family friend. This has been happening for years.
When will this madness end?? Cranston, stand up and tell the ACLU to shove it!

If we all did things or passed laws on one persons opinion or because one or two people feel excluded the courts would,and will be overrun with ignorant issues such as this how about finding a solution for all and stop apeasing the few but allow the majority to descide judges are not GOD who are they to take this family tradion away.
James Rush

I am so disgusted that people did not even have the right to vote on this. WE TEACH CHILDREN TO STAND UP AGAINST BULLIES AND YET THE CITY OF CRANSTON BACKED RIGHT DOWN!!! THESE DANCES ARE PAID FOR BY INDIVIDUAL FAMILIES YOU HAVE TO BUY A TICKET. SO HOW IS THIS AGAINST THE LAW. IT IS NOT PAID FOR BY TAX MONEY.

I didn't have a father growing up my grandfather took me to every single dance and now that he's gone I can look back on those pictures and remember how we had so much fun each year. It's sad and pathetic that one parent can ruin it for all the other children. That's what's wrong with our government

Its not so much ending the life long tradition of Father Daughter dances but its about one more right we as US citizens have lost.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EV5XTwuBFQ

Again, Cranston makes the headlines! Why don't they just have a Students' Dance with both male and female students who would each have an adult accompany them?

Why is this a problem. This event is for the child. Let them have fun with a mom, dad, uncle, aunt, friend, whoever they want. We have dad's take sons to the bowling day and mom's take daughters to the dance. Everyone has fun and the Children have a memory. Enjoy life it is too SHORT!

WHEN are we going to stop catering to ONE person, while the WHOLE has to "suffer"??? One lady is ruining a tradition for all because her daughter can't go to a dance?? Really?? What are we becoming?? This child doesn't have an uncle, or family friend who could not take her to the dance?? Was going to the dance that important that we have to have the blasted ACLU involved and now all kids can't enjoy the dance?? This mother should be ashamed she has stopped the enjoyment for many other families. I am disgusted at what we've become....very sad.

The people of Cranston have to replace the entire school committee and replace the Mayor, he won't fight for anything, If this happen in Providence, I'am sure the Mayor would have something to say and a least fight for the people, Vote out the present Mayor and School Committee, and start over

I live in CT and this bit of "news" made it here. I think it is totally absurd. Because 1 or 2 people complained they have to ruin it for every other family? What's the big deal? If there isn't a father in the picture, I'm sure there's an uncle or grandfather or even a cousin that could go. You people and your "politically correctness" make me want to puke.

When I was a kid, one of our neighbors had two girls. Their dad had been a fighter pilot and was killed in the Korea War. My dad went to the father-daughter dance with each of them to stand in the gap for their dad.

THAT is how it works in America! The Cranston School Department and especially the crackpots at the ACLU should be ashamed. Sadly, they probably are NOT!

It's stupid to take away such a tradition, but - that said - why not make a NEW tradition? "Family Dances". Father/Daughter, Mother/Son, Father/Son, AND Mother/Daughter...or even aunts/uncles/grandparents (or other legal guardians). The so-called traditional family of mom, dad and 2.4 kids doesn't really exist anymore. At least no one would be able to claim exclusion and whine about it anymore.

I feel sorry for the little girl, but was this a case of HER insistence or a case of her mother being OVER-protective?

There are plenty of single parents, and for our school system, if you have one parent, mother/daughter pairs are welcomed at father/daughter dances while father/son pairs are welcomed at mother/son dances. I'm thankful our schools here recognize that families comes in all forms.

A lot of ruckus over nothing. The Cranston School Committee could easily change it to a "Family Dance" and allow both fathers/daughters, mothers/sons, uncles/nieces, etc. Not all children live with their mothers and fathers, so in addition to eliminating the gender discrimination problem it also recognizes family diversity and doesn't leave children out.

There, problem solved.

I must be getting old....

I grew up in a Cranston full of traditional families that went to work, went to church services every week to worship their God, and where fathers and daughters enjoyed that special date together at the school father and daughter dance. I have wonderful memories of this.

Now the city has been overrun by angry, gay, atheist, divorcees that want everyone else to be like them and who are invading the wholesome traditions we once new.

The city has now deteriorated to a place full of unhappy, angry, selfish people.

Just to clarify : The policy states that schools should not be having any gender specific events but only hold events that are open to the family and students of both genders ( family events). The issue is only for gender specific events.

I did not write the law and I may not agree with the law, but as an elected official and a citizen it is my duty to adhere to Federal and State Law.

Janice as an elected official it is also your duty to recognize that there is problem that will affect every student and child in the district and to be proactive about it. This would of never been an issue if the School Committee members as private citizens who knew about this issue last May decided to explore the proper remedy by requesting the GA to insert the proper language in the existing law. This school committee instead decided to do nothing until today. Although I am encouraged that the committee is now following my lead and you will be sending a companion request that I have already sent to the GA leadership to fix this once and for all.

I will still vote against all of them, they still cost Cranston $150,000 for that silly prayer banner last year.

I seem to remember a movie from the 80's called Footloose or something. When the town cancelled a dance they moved the dance to a nearby building and didn't let the malcontents attend. hmmm

I am writing a letter to the ACLU and see if I can have weddings banned as "sexist". I am going to have to face a huge bill when my duaghter gets married and I am offended that society has made her become a princess for the day. Who's with me, guys? Maybe we can get the ACLU to stop weddings and then we can all take the money saved and buy new fishing boats!

Yes Pete and now you have me thinking. I always wanted to play for the Red Sox.

But they have gone ahead and have made it so that only the chosen few extremely talent people could do that .

I feel discriminated against too!

Let's ban Baseball!

Or better yet let's rename Major League Baseball to "Everybodyball" so that everyone can play!

Bill, I I was only joking about the wedding. I was hoping everyone saw that I was being completely absurd. I was not, however, joking about getting a new fishing boat. One should never joke about that!

Only one comment the mother of this little girl left out one fact her daughter did attend the dance

What kind of children are we raising when they never learn how to deal with disappointment? The world is not fair. Life is not fair. We don't always get what we want in life. These are lessons learned at a young age that help mold the type of adult you will become. It seems like today, some parents will go to any length to spare their child from any disappointment in life. Do you think 50 years ago there were not children who could not go to these events? Of course there were but they learned to deal with it and knew it was not the end of the world. They saved thier energy for things that really mattered.

I can't believe how nit-picky the ACLU and this asinine "law" is. Don't they have bigger fish to fry??? Turning a Mother-Son or a Father-Daughter event into gender discrimination is so sad. These events at school are about FAMILY. A MOTHER doing something with her SON and a FATHER doing something with his DAUGHTER. Why are we turning that into something wrong??? When this ridiculous state law "prohibits school events on the basis of sex", I think it meant more like you can't have an "Only-Girls Sewing Club". Or you can't have a "Manly Man's Lumberjack Group". (I'm purposely being stereotypical here.) Getting involved in the family events are ridiculous! And everyone knows if a child does not have one of these figures in their lives, they have the opportunity to bring someone else close to them to these events. It would be one thing if this mom who's causing all this hoopla had a son who wanted to attend the father-daughter dance and the school wouldn't allow it, but its about a single mom who's daughter supposedly had an issue with the father-daughter dance, called the ACLU and now they turned it into this "gender-biased" issue.

Children are growing up so fast these days. I teach in an elementary school and the girls look forward to this event like you wouldn't believe. Can't we just let these kids enjoy their childhood and these innocent and fun traditions that we've enjoyed growing up without this absurd "law" or ACLU interfering in our lives???

I understand that Bill S. is (rightfully) supporting nondiscrimination based on gender in that that you must have "comparable" events to ensure inclusion. What I have a problem with is one voice determining that her child was not treated fairly and so the rules have to be changed for everyone.

There was a wonderful graduation speech given this past year by a teacher that said "You are not special" -- and it spoke volumes to me about how our children feel a sense of entitlement.

My son played grade school soccer through a local parks league -- everyone got a trophy and no one ever "lost" a game. But I can guarantee that every boy and girl knew who the best players were and the final score of every game. We need to make sure our children try to the best of their abilities, learn to graciously acknowledge victories, and just as graciously learn how to accept losses. Somehow we have evolved into a society that won't allow our children to lose.

You cannot have everything and you are not entitled to everything.

It seems to me that there are two choices here: ban all of these activities or be more inclusive when you still have them. The activity isn't ruined because someone wants a mom or son at a dance or a daughter or dad at a baseball game. If your family wants to make it a special outing for the father and daughter, then go for it. Nothing is saying you can't just send father and daughter, but now little girls who are growing up without dads (like mine whose father died 5 and a half months ago) can enjoy the evening too. We don't have any other male relatives living near by, either. Seriously, which is worse: a mother attending a dance that was traditionally for fathers and daughters, or a girl having to stay home from a dance because her father is dead and there are no other men to take her?

I feel sorry for the girl in this story. I wonder how her peers will treat her now? This girl will be known in her community as "the one we had to give up our tradition for". I wonder how she feels now? This girls mother just made her daughters life-- a living hell. I bet she won't live in the community when she grows up. I wouldn't want to stay. Who wants to live under that black cloud? As a mother, I would have found a trusted male, perhaps her favorite male teacher, to accompany her to the dance. If none were available, I would have planned a "special" night out for us. A night for her daughter to look back on and say "wow mom, thanks".. If we want to have our traditional dance with father/daughter, mother/son.. we should be allowed to do so. If we want to have a gay rights parade, we should be allowed to do so. If someone wants to attend church services and pray, do so, If we want prayer in our schools we should be allowed to do so. For those who don't want to pray in school- you don't have to. Why can't we live with the motto of "to each his own"? What a wonderful world this would be if we could all learn to respect each other's beliefs-- then we could live" happily ever after". It would be a "win, win" :)

I'm glad I don't live in Cranston. For a lot of reasons but if the people commenting on this demonstrate the mentality of the majority I would hate to live among you.

You know, you people would be wise to really listen to Bill. He's a product of the Cranston school system, by the way, and I hope he won't mind me noting that he's quite young! He's entirely impressive, and more important, he's right. Bang on right.

I find it funny that people who I presume are against the Nanny State and all for law-and-order are whining over the fact that the Nanny State has rightly pulled its backing of this illegal activity. The fix was and is entirely obvious, and doesn't require rewriting the law, despite what Candidate Gately says. If you changed RI law to perfectly match the Title IX statute, you'd still have to have a "comparable" event. So changing the RI law will get you precisely nowhere, as Gately may actually know.

You guys are being led by the nose by a candidate manufacturing fake outrage in order to get elected. Perhaps you should direct your ire in that direction rather than at Bill, the kid involved, his mother, the ACLU, or any other scapegoat. Or perhaps also at the PTO. All of this smells like a political stunt to me -- you know, stirring up the pot to cause trouble -- what you people hate the ACLU for supposedly doing.

Hey, Janice:

First, you can call me Doug if you like. :) Second, I just read a copy of that letter and it was letter-perfect, so to speak. My real questions are: why was the dance cancelled and who cancelled it? That part I don't quite get. Lundsten didn't ask for a cancellation. The ACLU didn't, either; I read their letter. I might be missing something here, but I don't see it.

If it was concern over suits if it went forward, despite the ACLU's position, then why not just make it totally inclusive right away? Logistical problems, like seats available in the room, fire codes and so on? I could see that.

If you (or anyone) knows the answers to those questions, I'd appreciate it, because they could go right to the heart of the issue.

If it's the case that whoever was running this dance chose to cancel it out of petulance (not due to logistical issues) rather than conform to the law, then *that person* (or *those people*) are the ones who need to explain themselves to the crying girls noted above -- and I don't mean that snottily. I'm sure many are quite disappointed. If it was simply a matter of logistics, well, that ought to be made public. It'd be understandable.

Many thanks,

Dug

I lived in Cranston for 16 years and loved it. I moved out in 2004. I Must tell you how disappointing it is to see the city has lost it's backbone. Cranston used to be the first large city in RI to defend what was best for the city at large, it's citizens & stand for what it is right. What happened? there seem to be no juice left in anyone to stand up for what it is right or for tradition. My daughter went to private school but I do not recall any issues with any of the parents. I was a single Mom; more reasons why I do not understand the position of this particular single mom, the ACLU or the school depart. decision to cancel it. My daughter asked me why couldn't I go when I told her she could invite any of her uncles or her father. Why not? We had a great time. The next year she went with her dad. That photo of so long ago is prescious. There are tons of reasons why fathers are sometimes not in a girls life but here are the things to consider; 1-not all girls have just a Mom, 2-not all girls want to be Tomboys, 3-Not all girls want to be included/excluded (the dance can go on and not everyone needs to go), 4-it is another opportunity for every young girl to socialise (maybe for the first time) with their peers regardless of religion, socio-economic, race or nationality. Maybe a girl becomes a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer etc because her "new" friend's father is one them. America, we, must stand up to ALL the things made this country great. I for one have had enough!

Oh, OK, Janice, that makes sense.

So, obviously, all the PTA (PTO?) has to do is sponsor a family dance this year, and all will be well. Why little girls all over Cranston are crying and being told there are no more dances is a bit odd, don't you think?

It'll be very interesting to see how this dance thing goes this year.

ACLU...SCUM BAG LOSERS...PLAIN ENGLISH.....

What's next?
This article makes me feel old, When my girl had father daughter dance, she loved it. I still have the 6 yrs. of traditional father daughter dance pictures. I do also remember that girls who did not have their dads, another person was allowed to go, no big deal. This is ridiculous!!!!!!!

Ummm...as far as I can tell, there will be a dance this year. Either a family dance or both a daddy-daughter dance and a mother-son dance. So, why, exactly, is everyone going crazy over the non-cancellation? I'd be interested in any reply.

I also want to second Cranstonparent on Janice's engagement. On both this issue and the banner issue, she has been very helpful in answering questions online, and I'm sure in person, too.

Word, Bill. As everyone can see above, I, too was sucked into it. Sigh.

If I was a parent in Cranston who wanted the Father/daugther, mother/son dance tradition to continue, I'd just sponsor it privately. Collect donations, find a venue, and plan for the event to take place as it was had.

I will admit, if the girl attended the dance, and as was stated above by another single-mother, she was allowed to attend with her daughter, I don't understand the purpose of the complaint. What was the problem? Why did she feel the need to destroy this tradition for the rest?

My children don't have a father (two-mom family) and I take no offense with daddy/daughter, mommy/son events. I do however assume that my daughters would be allowed to attend with a male stand-in (friend, relative, etc.) I think any event that allows parents to interact in an 'out of the everyday' way with their kids is great.

This is in response to Bill Santagaba; Bill I am with you that we all have to abide by the law. How come you said nothing when President Obama decided to pass on the system and make illegals immigrants (undocumented still illegals) when to me it seems very illegal? why nothing much was said?? I am a foreign born Naturalized Citizens (took the test although I did not speak English but worked really hard to pass it and my grandmother had to be in her 70"s when she took the test) and have always being a law abiding Citizen, saw my family go to great pains, financially and otherwise, to make sure we entered here legally. I would have agreed to an easier path to legalization to the individuals singled out by the president but to me it seems the law does not always apply to all equally and that is my problem. I would have liked to see the UCLA taking on something that big and not attack the few things that makes us bettter as people. UCLA are doing what when we are going to be hit with a mandatory healthcare whether you can afford it or not? This is the kind od war they should be taking on but that would be unpolitical. So, they attack values, compromise our freedom but as long as they do it to the people and not to the large politcal empire. Shame on this organization. I have yet to see them fight something worth fighting for unlike father-daughter dance or a school banner 50 years old!

Bill, clearly you write well, so well you look right at first glance. The president has open the Highway to some reported 80,000.00 young illegals to begin the process and to me that equals the same just an around way of doing the same thing. You stated "The President can't with a wave of his hand grant them a green card to make them legal citizens", but in essence it is what ultimately will happen. I am foreign born and want fairness what I DO NOT want is for those that "cut the line" (regardless) sort of speak, be awarded a free pass. No exception. What message are we sending young people today?? that you have rights without merits? why work at doing the right thing? more reasons to enter illegally when we feed them, feed them, educate them and give free medical treatments while we say the hell with those here that spend years being legal and thousands upon thousands of dollars to do so. The hell with Americans and other legal citizens from other nationalities doing the right thing to be legal and are starving and struggling to survive. I am not as articulate as you are and people like you that can turn words that sound correct are dangerous to our society. Rhode Island,.. please weight in as I would love to hear what the majority of you are thinking!!

As far the ACLU,...

President Obama (President Osama as I refer to him) must GO, some of out politicians that say the correct words but do absolutely nothing to improve this state or are for ever impoverishing our beautiful state must also GO. I left RI from 2004 to 2009 and I am ashamed to see how bad the state of RI has been converted in such few years. Everyone and everyone in a job, an office or position that could make things better but does not must GO!!! Wake up Rhode Island. Do you want to wake up January to the Tsunami of the Obama care nightmare and think "I could have done something" The time to affirm to all we will not tolerate government abuse IS NOW and NOT when it will be too late!!!

As far as the daughter dance I say the time has come to make some drastic changes. The ACLU must start looking at the big picture or they too must GO. When I think of the organization I feel they take these instances (school banner, daughter-father dance)are chosen to keep themselves in our mind. They realize these are popular situations to pick to remind us of their power but ultimately we have the power if and when we choose to use it!

Fatima, I used Google to translate your last comment into German. I think it fits better:

<<Präsident Obama (Präsident Osama, wie ich auf ihn beziehen) muss gehen, einige von Politikern, die richtigen Worte zu sagen, aber absolut nichts tun, um diesen Zustand zu verbessern oder sind für immer ärmer unserer schönen Staat muss auch gehen. Ich verließ RI von 2004 bis 2009 und ich schäme mich zu sehen, wie schlecht der Zustand der RI in solchen Jahren umgewandelt worden. Jeder und alle in einem Job, hat ein Büro oder Position, die Dinge besser zu machen, konnte aber nicht muss gehen! Wake up Rhode Island. Wollen Sie aufwachen Januar nach dem Tsunami des Obama Pflege Alptraum und denke, die Zeit, um zu behaupten, "ich könnte etwas getan haben" alles, was wir nicht tolerieren wird die Regierung Missbrauch ist jetzt und nicht, wenn es zu spät sein wird!>>

I wish I knew German!!

Doug here it is in Spanish (I am Spanish)
El presidente Obama (Presidente Osama como me refiero a él) tiene que ir, algunos de los políticos señala que dicen las palabras correctas, pero no hacen absolutamente nada para mejorar este estado o para siempre empobreciendo nuestro hermoso estado también debe ir. Salí de RI 2004 a 2009 y me da vergüenza ver lo mal que el estado de Rhode Island se ha convertido en tan pocos años. Todos y cada uno en un puesto de trabajo, cargo o posición que pueda hacer las cosas mejor, pero no tiene que ir! Despierta Rhode Island. ¿Quieres despertar enero al Tsunami de la pesadilla cuidado Obama y pensar "yo podría haber hecho algo" El tiempo de afirmar que todo lo que no tolerará los abusos del gobierno es ahora y no cuando sea demasiado tarde!

Here are two interesting articles:
http://www.infowars.com/obama-to-legalize-illegal-immigration-by-decree-will-add-800000-voters-in-November/

http://endoftheamericandream.com/archives/10-things-that-will-happen-if-barack-obama-continues-to-systematically-legalize-illegal-immigration

It will not only add 800,000 BUT SO MUCH MORE!! It was and is a gesture to further gain Spanish voters, period. Clearly you are an Obama advocate regardless of what he does you are in it. I am in for what is right and that was wrong, wrong and wrong!!!

School Committee Member Robert LaFazia (Dist. 1) explained during a phone interview this morning that about 12 years ago, he and other parents at Thornton Elementary School started holding dances for families, rather than specifying father-daughter or mother-son.

"We combined it and made it a family dance, and we offered it as a chance to have a family photo taken — because who goes out anymore and has a family photo taken?" LaFazia recalled. "We've been doing it ever since, and I'm glad we changed it years ago — we never had any complaints, the parents are happy, and all of the events have been great."

I can only imagine how many parents would take their children out of these liberal conforming ridiculous institutions if they had the chance which vouchers would provide them which would also save $millions annually for every community. I had it with these devious people who have gotten themselves into every critical area of our society for the express purpose of bringing our country down morally and financially… Mr. Brown most little girls would be honored to go to a Father- Daughter Dance just as most little boys would be honored to dance with their Mom’s in which most I’m sure would take their own pictures. If I’m elected mayor I’ll be the nightmare of nightmares for these liberals and unions. I say let’s go back to our roots… As for school committee member LaFazia, who were those parents who would have so little commonsense or regard for traditional values? In my opinion public education is public enemy #1, Republican Mayoral Candidate

My 11 year old daughter has been crying for two weeks about a father daughter dance she could not go to. What she is really upset about is the fact her dad abandoned her and moved on to another "replacement" family and daughter. Her coping method is to try not to think about it, although it greatly depresses her. Why should the school set this poor kid who never deserved to be treated like trash to feel bad again? If fathers want to accompany daughters to a regular dance, they can. Why does the dance itself have to be exclusionary, such that I can't take her if I am the only parent that cares for her (mom who doesn't like to see my daughter cry anymore)

To Peter Philippi III: My little girl who was left flat by her father is not a "liberal" and is not "immoral" it was her dad who was immoral and abandoned her. Why should she have to constantly be reminded of that and made again and again to feel bad about herself? I was also not a "liberal" and "immoral" about my marriage as I was totally devoted to her dad. It was her dad (again) that abandoned the family to run off with a 23 year old girl. It is not her dad who is crying about the dance..it is the girl left behind..who did nothing wrong. So you think being sensitive to a little girl like that is "immoral"? You are the one who is immoral for failing to have compassion.